Living the Dream

Well that’s what people tell me I am doing as I live out in southern Turkiye.

 

I was chatting with a friend recently. They have been out in Turkiye quite a while and are married to a Turk and in their work have lot to do with yabancı (that’s foreigners and in Turkiye can sometimes just be someone who is not from the area you are from or living in. A little like the Scots calling other nationalities ‘white settlers’).

The friend told me this - some people move here and buy a property (or rent) and they only stay for two (2) years and others for five (5 years) and yet others for ten to fifteen years (10 to 15) and others just stay for ever.

I nearly choked on my coffee and was for once in my talkative life almost rendered speechless!  As a Master Consultant and Trainer of the Language and Behaviour (LAB) Profile® I recognised these time frames as being what the LAB Profile® calls ‘Decision Factors’.

These behavioural patterns will be evident in the lives of those of us who move to another country and at times in other aspects of our lives. We respond and act differently in different situations.

Quick caveat we can’t actually regard the patterns separately from the other 13 patterns in the LAB Profile® as they all work in combination with one another but the observation had my attention especially as it came from someone who knows nothing of the LAB Profile®. The remark led me to think about what motivates people to move to another country, apart from sun and maybe sand and cheap alcohol in some cases. Although at the time of writing this article we have had teeming rain again and very cold temperatures, (and snow) even though it is winter (we had a very hot, dry summer) at the Aegean.

 

Change, no not me. (copyright Jim Barker and Rosie O'Hara)

These Decision Factors are about how a person reacts to change and what frequency and kind of change is needed.

Are they motivated to change through searching for ‘difference’ or ‘sameness’?

 

Those of us who like Difference in our lives in any given context love constant, major change.

This is approximately 20% of the population and people with this pattern like change or will change something every 1-2 years.

Those of us who like Sameness with Exception & Difference in our lives in any given context like revolution and evolution.

This is approximately 10% of the population and people with this pattern like change or will change something on average every 3 years

Those of us who like Sameness with Exception in our lives in any given context like things mainly the same, people with this pattern will accept gradual change.

This is approximately 65%, of the population and people with this pattern like change or will change something every 5-7 years.

Those of us who like Sameness in our lives in any given context prefer things to stay the same.

This is approximately 5% of the population and people with this pattern like change or will change something every 15-25 years

 

If you ask people this exact question (if you change the wording you a) get a very an inaccurate result and b) possibly be showing what your preference is or what you subconsciously think theirs should be) - ‘what is the relationship between your ‘living the dream’[1] this year and last year? In their answer when they tell you things are, it is ….

… identical, not changed - they have the pattern  Sameness

…. same except more...or less...better, etc. - they have the pattern  Sameness With Exception -

…. new, changed, transformed  - they have the pattern  Difference

….. it’s the same  but something is different -they have the pattern  Sameness with Exception & Difference -

 

I always used to use KitKats as a good example of change. KitKat has been around since 1935 and the original wrapper shown top left only changed about three times until the shrink wrap was introduced.

 

 

 

 

I have listed below the kind of language (words that people use) that indicate(s) the patterns people use or that you can use to get them to understand you better, or to sell something to them or to get them to do something be that at home, at work or in a buying, selling situation for example (because you might have noticed that telling people to do things the way you do does not always work).

Sameness

• same as, in common, as you always do, like before, unchanged, as you know, as you already know; maintaining; totally the same; exactly as before; identical

Sameness with Exception

• more, better, less, same except, evolving, progress, gradual improvement, similar but even better, moving up, growth, improvement.

Difference

•      new, totally different, completely changed, switch, shift, unique, revolutionary, brand new,  this is a new process, unlike anything else, one of a kind, unrecognizable, a complete turnaround, unheard of, the only one

Sameness with Exception & Difference

•      both sameness with exception and difference vocabulary will work

It is important to remember that other patterns will come be important in each given context. In the case of this ‘living the dream’ or ‘moving to another country, town, area, region or buying a new product, having a holiday etc.’ After all, we are complex individuals. We might have moved, gone on holiday bought something better or bigger etc. But….. then we notice what is wrong with it, what is not the same as we had before, how it could be improved, what isn’t working, what we don’t like and more.. The LAB Profile® is a complex system, but given some time easy to understand and work with, as long as we put on one side what we know and believe to be true and open our minds. As human beings we are complex and yet can be quite easy to understand. At times or quite often we refuse to understand other people and where they are coming from and just believe everyone should be like us. Or in my case as I have now retired from working, not living, the LAB Profile® enables me to understand others better (it does not make me perfect. I have to work on that,  but who wants to be perfect?).

 

 

Notes on the LAB Profile® and its origins

—  1974 based on Jung's Personality types and MBTI the Meta Programs were formed by Leslie Cameron Bandler and others

—  In 1982, Ross M. Steward and Rodger C. Bailey started to commercialize the meta progam model under the name IPU Profile through their company Biodata Inc.

—  1985 Shelle Rose Charvet who trained with Rodger C. Bailey wrote ‘Words that Change Minds’

—  1986, Ross and Rodger went separate ways, and Rodger started using the name ‘LAB Profile’,

—  since 1992 Shelle Rose Charvet trains LAB Profile^® trainers worldwide.

 

More info on Shelle and Words that Change Minds at Words that Change Minds

 

 

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[1] You can use this question for any context you like, instead of ‘living the dream’, insert ‘buying a car’,  ‘choosing a holiday’, or any other topic.