Want to know why black lives matter?

Of course all lives matter!! But all lives aren’t under attack.

In a change to the post I had planned for today, I am posting this post made by my daughter on Facebook, with her permission. It’s her response to those who say something along the lines of ‘sure black lives matter, and/but all lives matter’. (And that might have been my response one point).

But,

(from Rosie) you know that’s actually really hurtful, as we need to acknowledge the other person’s pain. An example; now, I’ve had people die in my life before, in particular my previous husband at age 42. When people said to me, I understand your pain, and then continued with ‘when my husband, wife, partner, Dad, etc. died it was ……’  You know that’s really not helpful. You’re not acknowledging my pain, my devastation.

And what K’s point is, is ‘you have no idea what’s like to be 3 years old, 5 years old, 10 years. old, 11 years old, 13 years old and to be told some of the things that are written below and they happened to these two boys, boy did they happen.

I might repeat myself a few times, it’s to get a message across.

Please read what K says and read what I have to say below that,

Want to know why #blacklivesmatter and it’s not ok to say all lives matter?

Here’s my reply - please read and if you don’t have time or don’t agree unfriend me.

Two of my children are mixed race or black which to white people especially racist people

could be coloured, half caste, nigger or a range of other nasty racist words.

Two of my children have from a young age been called nigger, darky, chocolate boy, my nigger, shitface.

Two of my children have been spat at.

At the age of 3 and 5 they were playing in the garden when a racist walked by spat at one called them dirty little niggers and hit my 3 year old with a piece of wood. After a hospital visit the police station was next. The officer taking the statement said ‘There’s not a lot of coloured folk here it’s to be expected!‘ We were sent away.

The list of incidents didn’t stop, racist name calling, cutting of hair, name calling of hair skin colour, violent attacks. Attacks at school because they stood up for themselves, my hair isn’t wool, my skin isn’t shit, I am NOT a nigger, I am NOT your nigger. Here’s the added bite, one has Afro hair, one has European curls, guess which got the name calling about his hair!!

The defence of white people by teachers, social workers, police etc., ‚they didn’t know‘‚ ‘it’s to be expected‘, maybe they didn’t know.

Yes they meant it, yes they knew, they learned it they were taught racism. Over the past 16 years I have successfully filed a formal complaint against Grampian police (above mentioned quote), called a multi-agency meeting and education with equality officers about race and how to treat people equally.

My daughter is white! She had never been shamed by her skin colour, never scraped her skin off until it bled because she was called a nigger, never hated her hair because someone called her a nigger.

If someone hit her with a piece of wood and spat at her I’m pretty sure there would be outrage from other parents and you’d support me because it could happen to your child too. When it’s my black children because they are black, I get sympathy but your outrage? Na never had it.

Of course all lives matter!! But all lives aren’t under attack. Put your outrage in the right place, no one deserves to live the life TWO out of THREE of my children have because genetics gave them different pigmentations!!

Say their names LEON, NICO, HANNA! Tell me again how two of them don’t deserve to live a violent, harm free life??         K their Mum

 

Me again.

When 11 years ago I asked a business person in Elgin for some help with this, she asked me ‘is this one of your NLP scenarios?’ I replied ‘no, this is real this happening', she said 'not Elgin don’t be ridiculous’. In Forres where there was one incident involving local business people and a club. I was told ‘we have dealt with it how we see fit, both boys will stay [in the club]’, thereby condoning the racist behaviour.  I kept all these responses, written on corporate emails, just thought I'd mention that. #blacklivesmatter?

At times I wonder how K stays sane, other times I wonder how I stay sane, when I read some of this (stress not good for SLE I'm told ho hum).

Yet K currently furloughed and maybe the company she works for will fold, has been 'homeschooling' her 6 yr old, checking what the 14 yr old is doing and making sure that the 16 yr old delivered his college work on time. Leon, incidentally, in spite of everything managed to get a place at college last year based purely on this artistic talent and ability to communicate with adults well. Theoretically he was too young, Moray College UHI looked at his talents, not his colour. Nico has had different battles and is okay now, but all my Turkish friends will tell you what kind, thoughtful well behaved children they all are,in comparison with others. And the Turks attitude to their colour, shrug of shoulders. 'so what'.  Hanna has no idea what the fuss is about. But she may well turn into a fighter like her Mum.