Are you Mature or Immature in Life?

The owl fabled epitome of a leveller

The Leveller

Remembering the Satir Categories from the last post, this is by far the best place to be, it’s not always the easiest place to be. Our default behaviours are often governed by nature and nurture.

 

Levellers have few threats to their self-esteem.  Words, voice tone, body movements and facial expressions all give the same message.  Levellers apologise for an action, not for existing.  They have no need to blame, be subservient, retreat into a computer behaviour or to be constantly on the move.  They are great communicators and have the ability to build bridges in relationships, heal stalemates and build self-esteem. 

 

How does a leveller think and behave?

The leveller response is a real-time congruent response.  All the other responses that manifest in the other behaviours are as a result of negative internal feelings causing words and actions to be incongruent.  It is very easy, under pressure, to respond to a situation with either ‘it’s not my fault’ or ‘I’m sorry, it’s my fault again’, or to laugh inappropriately or show no emotion at all.  None of these behaviours allow you to seek out rational solutions.  The leveller response is the most effective behaviour for solving problems creatively:

 

Levellers:

¡  Look for solutions

¡  Have a conscious positive intention (for everyone and everything) behind everything they do

¡  Hold strong positive beliefs about themselves and others

¡  Operate from strong personal values

¡  Store positive mind images (of self and others)

¡  Have flexibility of behaviour when communicating with others

¡  Establish rapport before trying to influence

 

All these attributes can be learned through coaching and effective communication (which is with yourself and others), only by changing yourself can you change others.

It’s useful to bear in mind that emotional maturity isn't all about behaving and acting in a professional manner, as some people do even in the private lives. It's also about controlling your anger and your personal feelings both in a work and personal context, getting the two things confused is counterproductive. You might disagree with a fellow worker Facebook ‘friend’, someone in the bar, but that doesn't mean that you can get angry -or attack them in some way - because they shoved you out of their way (either verbally or physically).   Simply let it go, (breathe) relax, and focus on the task at hand, be that your work or enjoying yourself. Of course it’s a great thing to make friends and be sociable at work, the best environments (be those work or community) however are those where there aren't tangled webs of gossip and relationships that are keeping people from being productive.

If you really want to be professional in your job, you need a professional attitude and environment to work in. Needing to deal or work or socialise with people who are less than professional (or read this as mature or discrete) can become stressful, but avoid wasting anyone’s time trying to deal with them or even paying attention to them. Instead, you just let them go and do your job/socialise the best that you can. Life (that includes work) is not intended to be boring and repetitive by any means, it is called work for a reason. Life is for living without petty jealousy or pulling others apart. Those who are the most emotionally mature (or appear to be so) so the Levellers will be the most successful in life and in the workplace, after all.