The world is going to hell in a handcart - can we stop it?

The world is going to hell in a handcart* - can we stop it?

Facebook on which we rely so much for local information out here, with a current dose of when can people come out on holiday (we don’t make the rules, no idea) and do they really have to wear a mask (yes there’s a hefty fine and if you’re a tourist they will fine you), Facebook is a hive of discontent, backbiting and backstabbing.

So few people fail to appreciate Facebook friends are most frequently not real friends and often that are not friends with themselves either, just there to vent their spleen on someone else. For me, friends are people I know really well, I have perhaps 10 people I count as friends and that is world over. I know many people they are acquaintances.

There is a great deal happening in the world today and much of it in many places not good. How people react is interesting. I’m trying to avoid the political rights and wrongs, but I would like you share some information about people behaviours and how we and others behave and how we can change oursleve. Only if we want to of course. I hope this helps you identify others behaviours and understand others.

More from the Playground–

 

The Telltale (or Clype in the North of Scotland)

My youngest grandson was playing next to the slide, being the dare devil (polarity responder

likes to things differently or prove that he can do that which you told him, he can’t) he is, he decided it would be more fun to climb up the slide rather than slide down it.  He started up it. No sooner was he on his way, a boy about his age came running over to him and started to put him to rights, ‘You can’t do that. You’re not allowed, stop it now or I’m going to go tell my Mum.’ My grandson jumped down from the slide and thought about what he was going to do next. Interesting thing was that the telltale began to follow him. Whatever my grandson did, there he was with a new threat to get his mum if my grandson didn’t do exactly what he said. The telltale was going to make sure others followed the rules even though he had no direct authority. And if he could out them for not following the rules, he might just turn out to be the ‘good’ one in the eyes of the ‘boss.’

When it comes to your working life, and especially in your retired life, that point at which you have gained wisdom and might use it, even if it’s only to run like hell away from everyone else/ That point in life you need to be emotionally mature and able to act mature in every situation so that you can be viewed as mature and/or at work, professional by your managers and bosses. If you act like an immature child, it’s likely that management ad so called friends will see you as immature, and treat you accordingly.  I’ve noticed curiously that in organisations where the words professional or professionalism are bandied about that’s where the concepts of professional or professionalism are applied least. (And the words are also used to blame others for people’s own shortcomings).

What does this mean at work (or life in general)

In both of these cases, the behaviour got the person something (the swing to themselves, the power to influence the boss).  The problem is that in the end these children had no one to play with.  Well no one who is into healthy relationships.

NLP uses something called the Satir Categories based on the work of Virginia Satir, one of the categories (more about these next time) is called –

Blamer

Blamers find fault – never accepting responsibility themselves, always blaming someone or something else.  They feel unsuccessful and lonely.  They will sometimes have high blood pressure, (or other disorders and/or feelings of inadequacy) and come across at times as aggressive or tyrannical.  They will tell you what is wrong with things and whose fault it is, and in doing so become powerless to do anything about it.  By blaming external factors they have absolved themselves of responsibility. (Over time this becomes a pattern and they are not consciously aware of what they are doing)

 

In respect of work (or life in general) ask yourself

• Are you doing things that may be costing you ‘friends’ or just people to get on with (who are mature and responsible)?  If so, what could you be doing differently to ‘play nice’ with those around you?
• If you come across one of these patterns in your playground (at work), what do you do?

Say ‘No.’ They probably won’t like it, but they’ve got to learn eventually that real adults ‘share their toys’ and play nice with others around them.

Unless you want to do the same job for the rest of your life, get the same results as you always have done (which blamers inevitably do), if you want no chance of promotion, then it’s a good idea to pull your socks up, grow up, and prove that you are emotionally mature enough to handle moving up in the company to a better position. When we stop joining in the blame game, we also get to be with the friends and acquaintance we deserve.

Any questions please ask. More on the Satir Categories next time.

* 'Going to hell in a handcart' is one are variations on an American allegorical saying that  describes a situation headed for inescapable disaster. Its origin is unclear.