Are you waiting for the best option to come along?

 

 

Are you?   Does everyone else seem to be? Are you waiting for the best option to come along? Or waiting for a better option?

 

Every day we are bombarded with the ‘must haves’, the ‘buy now’ (as well as the ‘unique’, the ‘new’, the ‘different’ – that’s another story).  And in these current times when a lot of what the media gives us is about doom and gloom, what do we focus on? 

 

Some people become very inward looking and only use their own judgment, or they base this judgment on information they have gleaned from different sources when faced with uncertainty and then they start to decide for themselves.  They may take on outside information and process that information and then store it somewhere in their memory banks.  Ultimately they make their own decision and sometimes they make that decision only based on noticing what is wrong or can’t be done in respect of whatever it is you would like them to do.  Now this might be to buy something, book on a meeting, or do something at home, or not.

 

Others decide for themselves based on what others feel or things about what they as an individual do. Therefore the media and other people can ‘persuade’ people who process language and thoughts in this way that they as an individual are not doing this the right way.

How does this happen? Well it depends on how people are motivated. We have motivation patterns; people can be motivated to avoid a problem that has yet to occur or to fix an existing problem. It can also be that they are motivated to avoid something or someone. To know where people are coming from we will need to know what is important to the individual – what their hot buttons are, both negative and positive. 

 

If people find something boring or ‘not interesting’ they may be motivated to avoid getting involved. If privacy is important, the individual may be motivated away from what they believe is an ‘infringement of privacy’ and want to avoid participating. Some people begin to think at a below conscious level ‘you know too much about me!’  If you send someone a letter or an email (that concerns something they are thinking about) at some below conscious level they might be thinking you are getting inside their head, prying into their personal affairs (rather like online algorithms, those things that deduce from our online activity where our interests might be!). 

 

If you use a person’s name when writing an email they may be upset because you use their name.  Conversely for some people a nameless email is not caring about them, they like and value personal relationships and will respond better to you. The name issue may also have something to do with the fact that the recipient values the personal side of contact in that context or their life.  It can also be that they are more interested in facts. It just goes to show how complex we as human beings are and which factors come into play.  

 

In a nutshell in the present world climate it seems that some people are more focussed on, paying attention to what might go wrong or what might need fixing, especially with regard to other people. Do your ears prick up when someone tells you they have a problem?  Do you feel almost compelled to respond? These people are motivated by deadlines/by fixing things because they have a need to avoid the difficulties that could occur when these deadlines are not met/these things are not fixed. Although they may at times be good at working towards something they want to achieve, if their predominant pattern is to move away from [problems, they  will usually put the objective  aside if there’s something that has to be solved. 

 

During challenging times customers/clients prefer to wait, analyse, consider and think. This may lead to them waiting endlessly and having difficulty making a decision. So it might be useful to ask, ‘when you think things through and consider the problems so that a decision can be made’, what do you think now? 

 

You might notice when these same people or some other people have a problem, they may change the way they react.  They will want action now and they will do whatever it takes to get it. They expect you or the person they are talking to, to take whatever initiative is needed, and to do it quickly. 

 

Going back to the people who are motivated to decide based on their own internal standards and criteria. They do not want to be told what to do. Bold statements and Command Language (i.e. ‘act now,’ ‘sign up for this … by …’ will raise their resistance. It’s best to invite this kind of client or customer to decide for themselves, using phrases such as: - ‘here’s some information you may want to consider or may I make a suggestion?’ Their behaviour is based on the belief that anyone who doesn’t fit his or her own expectations is out of order. 

What might we do to get this to work?  Working round it is not necessarily an option. A really good example is the MasterCard advert, remember that? 

‘This costs [that much]. That costs [this much]. This costs [that much]. This [thing or event]: priceless. Some things money can’t buy, for everything else, there’s MasterCard’.

 

This slogan was extremely successful for MasterCard. What happens here is, using the repetition we are speaking in terms of a process or procedures approach it is then followed by an options twist at the end. ‘For everything else’. The slogan uses a story, offers options and allows the listener, watcher (reader) to make a decision either based on measuring against what they know and believe to be true or to be influenced by the content of the stories on the screen and make a decision based on ‘wanting to be like that’. 

 

There are ways and means of finding out what motivates others (and ourselves).  Interested? 

Below I’ve listed some words and phrases taken from the LAB Profile ® (the Language and Behaviour profile) developed by Shelle Rose Charvet[1]. If you are pretty sure that you know how the person you are speaking to or writing to is processing then use a couple of words or a phrase or two, but be warned if you use the wrong words, you could have potentially ruined things. Better is in conversation to use a word or two or a phrase and look at the person you are speaking to, whilst you are speaking and check out their reaction. Be warned again, reactions come in a split second and if you are not paying exquisite attention you may miss the first reaction. The very first minute non-verbal reaction is probably the most important reaction.

When you are writing to a group of people or writing a piece of advertising, an invitation to join in, then using some of each side of the pattern should guarantee the most diverse reaction. Always assuming of course that at the time you are writing your potential audience wants what you have got, is paying attention and doesn’t have other priorities.

 

Be aware that emails are tantamount to worldwide publication and that if you upset someone it will be passed on and molehills can become mountains, very quickly and then you have undo it all.

 

 

For people who decide for themselves based on their own judgment

only you can decide, you know it’s up to you, what do you think, you might want to consider, a suggestion for you to think about.

 

For those people who are influenced by what others say and do

so and so thinks, the feedback you’ll get, the approval you’ll get, others will notice, give references, here’s what people are saying about this.

 

For those people who like options, who are compelled to start, but sometimes never finish

break the rules just for them, opportunity, choice, expanding, options.

 

For those who like things to be step by step

speak in procedures:  first ... then ... after which; the right way, tell them about the procedures they will get to use

 

When people want to know about the advantages

attain, obtain, have,  the benefits of this are, when you do this the positive consequences are, the goal here is to……

 

When people are problem oriented

avoid, steer clear of, not have, get rid of, here’s how you can avoid this problem, if it’s not solved now it will only get worse, why not fix it now so it won’t deteriorate.

 

 

If you would like to know more, please get in touch, here or on LinkedIn 

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[1] Shelle Rose Charvet is and the international expert on Influencing Language. Shelle has been researching and teaching for over 35 years and is known for her advanced techniques used to enhance rapport, trust, credibility, and influence. https://www.successtrategies.com/