Reducing the Consequences of Conflict

It would be great if there never was any conflict wouldn’t it?  The conflict that occurs regularly

in the world of work and on the receiving end of customer service is very similar.  Often due to the fact that there is a way to do it and this is the way and there is no flexibility.

A way to do it is a process or a procedure, if we don’t have those processes or procedures none of our systems will work. Things need to requisitioned in the right way to reduce overspend and keep profits up. Processes need to be implemented step by step. When you learn to drive a car you discover failure to do things in the right order means you crash the gears or some other disaster.  However what happens when we have a problem or our customer or client has a problem?  We or they are not interested in the process or procedure in the slightest we or they want something doing.  These are again two subconscious language patterns and apart from 20% of the population who can dance with one foot in either corner of the pattern, most of us will sit firmly at one end or the other with at times a switch to the opposite pattern occurring if we need something done or believe we have a right to something being done.

In terms of customer conflict and at times on the receiving end of some work policy or procedure the one conflicting party will say ‘the system does not allow this’ and the other does not care a jot but wants something done.  They want an alternative.  There is one way round this there is a two-solution solution, ‘whilst I can’t do this for you, what I can do is this or this’.  Even if this isn’t exactly what the aggrieved party wanted subconsciously they have heard and felt a solution, an alternative is being offered.

On the other hand your colleague at work who comes up with alternatives all the time may be good in a brain storming session (may even be you might think the so-called Plant, there’s more to all that than meets the eye).  Generating terminal options is not always entirely useful they could generate options ad infinitum and you will never come to a resolution.  More conflict occurs because here is a better new and even more improved idea and you need a way to do it, even the one right true and tested way to do it.

Additionally in this context of conflict how people respond to stress is important and this is one of the biggest areas for clashes in the world of work.  There are those people who are cool as cucumber nothing phases them they are calm in a crisis, a problem at times as they may not empathise with your problem.  There are the people you would ideal like to have they can show some kind of emotion, they look human and yet they can deal with things.  The easiest people to conflict with are those who throw all their toys out the pram, it’s everyone else’s fault but never theirs.  They will conflict now these people are important they can be artistic and creative given the right environment, they can also be a nightmare as their feelings are the most important thing to them.

Rosie O’Hara is one of World’s foremost Master Consultants and Trainers of the Language and Behaviour (LAB) Profile®, Words that Change Minds.  Her background is in mechanical engineering and the German language – more information on uses of the LAB Profile® for Team Building, HSE, Management, Negotiation, Market Research, Recruitment and in Executive Coaching and more contact Rosie on0090 531 454 4942

 This article was first published on 2018